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Off-Topic Regarding that cute girl in at the fast food drive-thru

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Eric Wilson

Eric Wilson

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As a father of a 17yo girl with a food service job, I think some of the menfolk out there need some advice:

- Don't ask her age. If you are think she might be a minor, she's too young for you.
- Keep your compliments specific. "You have a pretty smile" not "wow, you are beautiful"
- Consider your age. If she is under 21 she likely sees 30+ as very old. Mild flirting becomes creepy with a significant age gap.
- Don't ask for her number before you have established an actual connection.
- Remember, she can't leave, and she's being paid to be friendly to you. That increases your burden to treat her with respect.

Be classy, gentlemen. It's a small way you can make the world a better place.
 
Eric Wilson said:
As a father of a 17yo girl with a food service job, I think some of the menfolk out there need some advice:

- Don't ask her age. If you are think she might be a minor, she's too young for you.
- Keep your compliments specific. "You have a pretty smile" not "wow, you are beautiful"
- Consider your age. If she is under 21 she likely sees 30+ as very old. Mild flirting becomes creepy with a significant age gap.
- Don't ask for her number before you have established an actual connection.
- Remember, she can't leave, and she's being paid to be friendly to you. That increases your burden to treat her with respect.

Be classy, gentlemen. It's a small way you can make the world a better place.
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As the father of twin daughters (now grown), I respect the intent of your post. I’m sure you are spending at least as much time, if not more, teaching your daughter how to deal with the men you had in mind when writing your message.

When my girls were younger and we were walking arm in arm in public places, I would see many men leering at them…far too many for one protective father to educate…though I would throw a threatening look at some of them from time to time.

I also received many daggers thrown at me from the eyes of women thinking I was a lecherous old man playing around with a young girl.

Those were challenging times.
 
As a father with daughters from 23 to 17 Ill add a few things...

1) Keep quiet if you're unsure if she's 18 or over.
2) As a supplement to #1, if you're in 30's, or at least close to being 30, keep quiet.
3) If you must speak, be nice, be respectful, even be encouraging, but do not be flirty or weird.
4) Why are in the drive through? That stuff will kill you.
5) And if you're disrespectful, the food won't kill you, I will (j/k....sorta).
 
Neuro-Bob said:
Say it louder for those of us in the back.

Sort of related: I think it was a Friends episode that established the rule of “half your age + 7” as the generally acceptable age gap, but just to be safe I married someone exactly my own age.
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Whew! I just made it then. I was 34 and my wife 24 when we met. Guess that might have almost made me a creeper. (To be fair, I've always looked and acted younger for my age and she's an old soul)
 
People have always been judgemental about other people’s relationships - the wrong social class, the wrong ethnicity, the wrong religion, the wrong gender etc. Age gap is just the latest in a long line of bigotry. My family has age gaps in all directions - my wife is nearly 10 years older than me. My father, stepfather, two uncles and two cousins all have wives that are ~20 years younger than them. And, you know, these are all decades-long relationships that are actually real - not caricatures. The men aren’t exploitative and none of the women are submissive, not even demure.
 
Eric Wilson said:
Statutory rape is still a thing, let's keep it that way. Minors are not your dating prospects.
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I don’t think that’s what he’s trying to imply to be fair. I have 2 teenage daughters and it is concerning although our teenage son is quite respectful to women so also positive.
 
I realize this is a digression/off topic.
I would like to emphasize the importance of teaching your daughters and wives to be mindful of their surroundings by staying off their cell phones. Whenever I visit a store, I intentionally park further away. As I walk through the parking lot, I often notice individuals, particularly younger women, sitting in their cars with the engines running, engrossed in their cell phones. Please remember that there are individuals with malicious intent in the world.
 
Bill Lets said:
I realize this is a digression/off topic.
I would like to emphasize the importance of teaching your daughters and wives to be mindful of their surroundings by staying off their cell phones. Whenever I visit a store, I intentionally park further away. As I walk through the parking lot, I often notice individuals, particularly younger women, sitting in their cars with the engines running, engrossed in their cell phones. Please remember that there are individuals with malicious intent in the world.
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And, that it's ok (better than ok) to be out in public without headphones stuck in your ears.
 
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