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Other/Mixed Where does imagination, zest and humor go?

Other strength modalities (e.g., Clubs), mixed strength modalities (e.g., combined kettlebell and barbell), other goals (flexibility)
Hrungnir said:
I think it’s a bit of a bias that you view those people as unfulfilled.

I personally would find living life with minimal obligations to be very unfulfilling. I also think zest and humor is very viewpoint based, just because you don’t view it as such doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist for them.
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This. Everyone is the star of their own life, living out their own particular drama. Their particular personality traits may look off-putting to some, but that doesn’t mean the individual is unfulfilled at all….
 
Boris Bachmann said:
Are people criticizing your lifestyle because you are humorous and "zesty"?

I'm not saying you're wrong, I just don't see people around me getting down on their peers for having a sense of humor.

Now, I DO have some friends who have interests that are very different from mine and some who probably think I'm aloof because I, for example, don't want to give up my "Squaturday" for a day of beer and watching other people doing sports. This irritates me a little, but what can you do?
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Yeah, I definitely see your point. I don't get criticized really but I just sense I'm a bit different. I think I just have a different belief system than most. Things that others take seriously, I just simply don't. Maybe it's that I have an optimistic view that all will be well and stressing about things doesn't help. It will get done but let's be kind to ourselves, laugh and show patience along the way. It will get done! Let's don't stress, try our best and leave the rest.

I don't want to change others but I can almost feel at a spiritual level that they're saddled with outside influences. I hear them complain often as well but it's due to their own decisions in life.
Hrungnir said:
I think it’s a bit of a bias that you view those people as unfulfilled.

I personally would find living life with minimal obligations to be very unfulfilling. I also think zest and humor is very viewpoint based, just because you don’t view it as such doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist for them.
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I definitely see and respect your point.
Anna C said:
Your exercise could be the difference. I'd wager that your physiology and brain are both healthier than theirs, in addition to muscles, bones, etc. The more they get sucked into their electronic world and neglect movement, the more passive they will become.

At my age (56) I see those around my age getting worn down and tired from illness, chronic pain, loss of strength and capacity, fatigue, and stress. Without an exercise routine (or better yet -- training program), they have no resistance to it. And life will beat you down -- demands from job, family, finances, and society. You have to actively build yourself, and then bounce forward from adversity and keep working to be resilient against it, or you just run out of resources to fight. Humor and fun have nothing to subsist on.
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Beautifully put, I'll have to share this with my sister.
 
Adam R Mundorf said:
I think the saddest part is that even my peers are beginning to 'shut off', I'm like you're only 30! As Ori Hofmekler said : 'Not actively surviving is passively dying.'

I remember on a Joe Rogan Podcast something was said like, 'People live lives of quiet desperation.'

That's the vibe I get from many.....
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You would enjoy Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning.
 
There was an intriguing article in the Australian media recently about sexual desire and its unrealistic depiction in culture, literature, media etc. We’ve been conditioned to accept that sexual desire, being horny, is not just a desirable relationship trait, but borders on necessity for a happy relationship, and certainly is a necessary precursor to sexual intimacy. However the article pointed out that desire means the same as being unfulfilled. We desire what we don’t have or don’t have enough of. So many people are perfectly satisfied with the sex that they have, have some and even a lot of sex, and never experience this feeling of sexual desire that is supposedly so essential. This explains why a partner in a relationship may never initiate sex themselves, yet seem perfectly amenable to sex occurring, but even though sex is occurring the other partner feels undesired because they believe the lack of initiation must be a problem. Go figure! I was really struck by this (to me) revolutionary way of looking at such a common and never-questioned phenomena. Anyway, the OP’s post reminded me that perhaps we project onto others this desirability bordering on necessity for overt enthusiasm and dynamism in life because that’s what we’re conditioned to believe a healthy life should look like.
 
I've had to deal with a trauma disorder for most of my adult life and something interesting (and horrifying) that I'm seeing as people enter their late thirties and early forties is that decades of stress and anxiety start to look very similar to what I've been dealing with. Unfortunately, once you're operating like a trauma survivor, you're operating just to stay alive. You're literally operating on the most vital level, everything else has been jettisoned as a luxury.

A huge part of my recovery has been nurturing empathy, joy, fun, adventure, curiosity, compassion and hope in myself. Those have always been my values, but they're the first to go when you're just trying to survive. I see their growing absence in the people around me and I'm especially horrified by the lack of empathy for others. Unfortunately, it's not a conscious choice: your brain and body start making decisions for you and it's an immensely difficult thing to stay on top of.
 
Luis T. Gonzalez said:
This reminds me of a story.

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Great story.

I work a seasonal job, my wife is a stay at home mom so we only have one income for the household. I get a few months off from work during winter where I get to spend more time with the kids and work on the house. Most of my friends and coworkers wonder why I don't try and work more so that we aren't so tight with money.

I always remind myself that there's one thing everyone has the same amount of and that is time. We all have 24 hours in a day rich or poor. I choose to spend mine with my loved ones as much as I can.

Obviously not everyone can manage this depending on geographical circumstances. I'm grateful that I can live like this.
 
Benjamin Renaud said:
Most of my friends and coworkers wonder why I don't try and work more so that we aren't so tight with money.
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Try being a teacher... "Oh, it must be SO nice to have summers off!" None of those people take me up on the offer to switch checking accounts right now. I worked my share of "side gigs" and now that my kid is grown, I wish I had done less.
 
Adam R Mundorf said:
Whenever my lifestyle is critiqued it almost seems like it stems from a point of jealousy because they don't have the flexibility or didn't make the decisions I did to maintain my freedom of choice. Misery loves company as they say
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This happens with literally every lifestyle. Some people actively hate everyone who is not exactly like them.

I know a couple that talks s*** behind people's backs. "He is lazy! She is a sl*t! He is dumb!" Etc etc. I am sure that they do it for me too.

The thing is that they always seem miserable and stressed. If someone is happy in his life, he doesn't give a s*** if another person is dumb, or lazy, or has a different lifestyle.
Only if someone hates his life(and also is a bad person) has the need to criticise others for their lifestyles.

So, feel just sorry for them, nothing else.
 
Reminds me of the Hank Williams classic…

Mindin' other people's business seems to be high-toned
I got all that I can do just to mind my own
Why don't you mind your own business
(Mind your own business)
If you mind your own business, you'll stay busy all the time.
- Hank Williams Sr.
 
I work with someone whose elderly parents have 17 properties. 17. The rental income even conservatively is comfortably over 10k a week.

This person also won’t pay for Netflix, or anything similar and drives around town to save 5c a litre on fuel. I often wonder what’s the point of all that money if you live like that? I don’t think they should be blowing money for the sake of it or anything but getting even more money seems to be the only driver for them, even though they’ve got plenty. Just seems like there’s never enough for some people.

Should’ve heard the whinging when a new tax law came in this year for people who earn over 250k. It was like a death in the family.
 
Halfakneecap said:
I work with someone whose elderly parents have 17 properties. 17. The rental income even conservatively is comfortably over 10k a week.

This person also won’t pay for Netflix, or anything similar and drives around town to save 5c a litre on fuel. I often wonder what’s the point of all that money if you live like that? I don’t think they should be blowing money for the sake of it or anything but getting even more money seems to be the only driver for them, even though they’ve got plenty. Just seems like there’s never enough for some people.

Should’ve heard the whinging when a new tax law came in this year for people who earn over 250k. It was like a death in the family.
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My parents grew up in the Great Depression. If you’d heard their stories, you might understand. Likewise my wife’s parents. All were worn between 1919 and 1925.

I’m not criticizing your point of view, just offering possible explanations.

-S-
 
Adam R Mundorf said:
Hey StrongFirst,

I'm currently 30 years old and I place a premium on not emulating people I don't want to be like. I tend to have a super active imagination, find humour in everything and have fun in almost every situation. I try my best to maintain minimal obligations (responsibly) and thus have more freedom to do as I please.

I just notice that as I get older, I'm in the minority.

I guess my question is why do people become so rigid? Why do people start to lose their luster and zest for life? Why do people conform and emulate people who quite frankly, die unfulfilled?

Listen, I get there are certain aspects of life that demand a level of rigidity: investing, personal finance, possibly exercise and avoiding large mistakes (unplanned pregnancy, drug addiction etc). I treat them with the seriousness the deserve.

Whenever my lifestyle is critiqued it almost seems like it stems from a point of jealousy because they don't have the flexibility or didn't make the decisions I did to maintain my freedom of choice. Misery loves company as they say.

What are your guys thoughts?

Thank you, Adam
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Sense of obligation loves company, too.

I've seen all variety of peoples get upset at others in their perceived peer group simply for observing that fillintheblank isn't being done by the other, so they get upset. Jealousy would work here.

EG, female friends have been accosted by other women for not putting the same level of perceived effort into their appearance. Perhaps they're jealous in an indirect way that their peer isn't following suit, pulling their weight, etc, if not suffering from cognitive dissonance in the moment sparking anger or other elevated emotional responses due to projecting their personal expectations on to others... Or something else entirely, who knows what people are going through?

Having worked in retail for about twenty years, I've seen it all from all kinds, from petty classism to hereditary caste systems, from poor people catastrophizing inconveniences to wealthy people doing the exact same.

I can say for certain, if any one could, that self awareness and realistic expectations setting, or lowered expectations, really is the key to happiness, assuming uncontrollable factors such as death, illness, accidents, job loss and so on aren't at play.
 
Steve Freides said:
My parents grew up in the Great Depression. If you’d heard their stories, you might understand. Likewise my wife’s parents. All were worn between 1919 and 1925.

I’m not criticizing your point of view, just offering possible explanations.

-S-
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Absolutely.

My maternal grandmother was a nurse during the Great Flood (Mississippi River) of 1927. She was 21. I will never forget her talking about that 50 years ago. The Great Depression hit a couple years later.

My paternal grandfather named himself at age 5. His first day of school he didn’t have a name because nobody gave a damn enough to name him. He grew to become a generous, wonderful, loving man.

Both of them had roaringly great senses of humor and were tremendously witty. They loved a good joke and a good laugh. I guess they’d seen enough hard times to appreciate the good times..??
 
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